Not My Will

This Easter, I have had the privilege of participating in a riveting stage production centered on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ called SHEPHERD OF LOVE. The story closely follows the scriptural account of Jesus' birth, ministry, miracles, betrayal, crucifixion,and resurrection. Having been exposed to this story for many years, it is easy for me to gloss over certain aspects of who Jesus really was and what He actually experienced for me. There is one particular part of this account that has begun to consume me: the prayer of Jesus as He struggled in horrific agony in the garden before He was led away to be murdered for us. His humble and submissive declaration of, "Not My Will, but Thy Will" in the midst of facing the most gruesome torture to pay for my crimes is beyond my capacity to process. But the phrase is sinking into my spirit as I am facing some potentially critical issues in my own personal life. I want things to be comfortable and happy. I want everything to be peaceful and calm. I want...I want...But what does GOD want? What is HIS "want" for me? Quite often, the paths He calls me to walk are the polar opposite of the colors I work so hard to use to paint my life. He chooses difficulty, while I scream out for ease. He calls me to walk through loss, while I work feverishly at times to hold on desperately to how things are. In my spirit, I want to humbly say, "Not my will, but Thy Will, be done." And sometimes in my life, I sincerely offer up that same prayer. Sometimes in my life, though, I find myself fighting and grasping to keep control of how I see I want my life to be. And yet God my Father continues to work out His best in my life, even though His best doesn't always come packaged the way I want it to. My only recourse is to utter the words my Lord did, knowing that our Father always DOES know and do what is best: "Not my will, but Thy Will, be done." Amen.

If you think of me, maybe you can ask God to help me to continue submitting to Him. Maybe you can join me as we bow to His Will.